effyhara.net

Tag: hawk

  • it’s all coming: less distracted, more embodied

    it’s all coming: less distracted, more embodied

    murmurs to the left. sweet water on my tongue. tension in jaw and tastebuds. pressure in soles of feet and remembering the music that plays from my phone is the same as that of the crickets. drown the neighbors’ ripple with sound that delights. beauty is protection. my dress gathers between folded legs and i pray on the taste of cinnamon serpents in milky coffee and you, somewhere in my mind, swimming toward my heavy, damp breasts, and i breathe bright grey stratus and fluffy white cumulus and pure blue a hawk flies through. i remember you never left me. i only looked elsewhere for a third of a century which, in the grand scheme, is nothing i cannot remedy with a flowered silk slip and three sticks of incense and every color my heart rests her fingers in. you curve through my breath lke thick spicy smoke and rain falls on my shoulderblades, washing any trace of doubt from the atomic structure of consciousness called I AM.

    i am yours. ink spreads through a raindrop and i want to keep writing – but you urge me to the studio with cool water.

    +++

    your eyes between my thighs
    your lips an inch from mine
    whispering filth into my glistening electricity

    ++

    I’m tired of wanting you 
    tired of waiting and waiting and waiting
    what’s wrong with me? For being so pretty
    you’d think by now
    I’d have figured something
    into existence 
    ha
    the haze again 
    the gaze again
    the mirror betrays  
    again again 
    damn I miss you tonight 
    your fingers linger between my lips and I wish
    this feeling would never lift 
    alone in the dark I imagine you’re real
    so one day
    maybe 
    you will be here with me
    so embarrassing the way I dream and yet
    it always has been
    what is there to hide from?

    how else will you find me but by my signature koans (moans) and signature sighs and signature silk slips and lips that can’t stop biting themselves and I slip slip slip into the mystery again 

    don’t you want to come with me, darling?
    what is this game we are playing?
    they say hide and seek but 
    I feel you always. 

    +++

    I will fill myself with the feeling of you until you arrive in my embrace and then I will never let go of you ever. I will love you forever. 

    +++

    What do I WANT to fill the tension with?

    This is the erotic game
    I get to choose the inputs 

    Being here on earth is being suspended floating tethered between realms

    I don’t have to resist
    Don’t have to fill the tension with more tension
    I can fill it with openness and pleasure and juicy delicious gushing aliveness 

    It’s okay to let go of the fight 
    It’s okay to love. To smile. To be here swimming in it 

    Let go of control and it’s all coming 

    +++

    The best part about not being with a man is that I realize all of the feeling is coming from my own erotic nature. My imagination. My desire. My art. My atmosphere. My aesthetic. My beauty. My worship. My prayer. My devotion. My goddess. 

    +++

    The less time I spend on social media getting subtle validation and breadcrumbs of attention, the more deeply attuned I am to my creative pulse, my erotic pulse, my desire, my senses, my able to feel things into being. 

  • Luminous Remembrance

    Luminous Remembrance

    Creation changes perception

    In becoming nothing – you become everything 

    “Foregoing self, the universe grows I” — Sir Edwin Arnold

    I am clear clear clear it is boring boring boring.

    I want someone to feel things about.

    A hawk calls fom fifty feet above. Trees whoosh overhead massaging my eyelashes, cheek crests. In the distance, music. Bad pop music cover and an overzealous suburban emcee shouting from high school loudspeakers.

    A man with a deep and excited voice below the deck taps on five inch thick beams of wood, testing for rot. There’s a “wounded” beam, I hear him say, but it’s really no problem. Won’t be for at least 10, maybe 20 yers.

    Warm, bittersweet, and no one to pour into.

    What do I want?

    The dark goddess.

    To create a world poured from my deep, luscious inner space. Holographic raindrops. Wordless promise. Wonder. I know nothing.

    My toes tickle soft slats of wood, heels press into the chair’s edge.

    Sensing, sensing, sensing.

    He is far away. Barely a trace.

    Do I wish to be witnessed? Seen in my dance?

    Yes.
    I don’t know.
    Maybe.

    Erotic – Holographic 

    Erotic center projecting outward creating sensual experience 

    “Quaking mess of sensitivity”

    Body as Receiver & transmitter – channel

    What & how I perceive = what and how I feel

    Perception = experience 

    Perception = sensitivity = awareness of sensation + receptivity 

    +++

    Holographic (feeling) tears 

    I am creating the feeling with my Desire, the inputs i receive, my attention and focus and depth and breadth of awareness

    What and how I perceive is what and how I feel

    The quality of your energy and the strength & nuance of your intention 

    +++

    The SHAPE/FORM (energetic signature) is what is Defined – Unfolded – illuminated 

    With color / line / perspective / value / texture / space / pattern / contrast

    The SHAPE/FORM is the CREATIVE CHOICE – the CO CREATIVE DANCE with the Goddess 

    Shape/Form illustrates energy, intention, movement, power, weight, depth, emotion, desire, experience…

    Lay down the color then find the shape’s dimensions (forms)

    Color + light > form

    Through contrast, value, texture, pattern, movement, space, line 

    +++

    Goddess of death

    Cosmic womb

    Tears – Perfume bottles – Impossible shapes 

    What’s in a name?

    Eyes – Lips

    Honey ribbon Amber drip

    Dark cavern infinite serpent

    Threads of light

    Opalescent energy filaments 

    ===

    New moon Luminous remembrance. Literal perception 

    Perception – perspective – dimension – awareness – imagination 

    Vortices – spirals – waves – circles – lines – points 

    What you perceive is a matter of dimension and perspective 

    Perspective: where you are looking from

    Inner & outer Place of awareness 

    Dimension: how many layers of depth you see

    Vision – Imagination – Openness 

    Perception is a direct reflection of State of Mind

    State of Mind: marriage or awareness and imagination 

    2026.09.11

    Once you remember you are the Goddess’s earrings, Her perfume, Her nectar, Her fruit. Once you choose to live in service, in Devotion to Her — and this fills you with BLISS — the seeking ends. You stop trying to get spiritually enlightened because you realize you are already Her perfect creation. Her vessel. Her art and Her artist. You are a seer. A visionary. Free of the past. Free of the future. Here. Now. Free of conceptions you do not Desire. You are Kama’s heartbeat. You are beauty and blessing. You a fr sound and sex and dripping colors. You are every delicious flavor, forming, melding, unfolding. You are pure brilliance, oozing from tongue and lips and fingertips. You are humming atoms and spiraling dna and the cosmos  breathing out and in. You are new stars born from the ether’s ashes. You are luminous, luminous, luminous.