cackling into the forest. Hozier, black coffee, blacker ink, serpent around my ring finger, breeze arrives, trees dancing, i remember you calling me. i remember in the distant sounds of poetry seeping into every pore and teeming into paper and everything glows with you and i remember i remember i remember constellations of glimmering stone and stars exploding and a wild mountain horse on the seacliffs of catalan where i’ve never been, but i have been.
everywhere you are i am everywhere you are i am everywhere you are i am everywhere you are i am everywhere you are everywhere i am you are everywhere i am you are everywhere i am you are everywhere i am you are i am everywhere you are everywhere i am everywhere you are everywhere i am everywhere you are everywhere
i leaf flies to my chair – there you are [nailing] yourself to the cross of my awareness
i draw a cross of vanilla across my heart each morning and massage it into my breasts, remembering the scent of honeydew at dusk and the way i bent to my knees and you gathered me into your arms, your sweet and bitter fruit has fallen from her tree. the dress she wears is indigo moonstone and silvery threads and an amber halo
“Foregoing self, the universe grows I” — Sir Edwin Arnold
I am clear clear clear it is boring boring boring.
I want someone to feel things about.
A hawk calls fom fifty feet above. Trees whoosh overhead massaging my eyelashes, cheek crests. In the distance, music. Bad pop music cover and an overzealous suburban emcee shouting from high school loudspeakers.
A man with a deep and excited voice below the deck taps on five inch thick beams of wood, testing for rot. There’s a “wounded” beam, I hear him say, but it’s really no problem. Won’t be for at least 10, maybe 20 yers.
Warm, bittersweet, and no one to pour into.
What do I want?
The dark goddess.
To create a world poured from my deep, luscious inner space. Holographic raindrops. Wordless promise. Wonder. I know nothing.
My toes tickle soft slats of wood, heels press into the chair’s edge.
Sensing, sensing, sensing.
He is far away. Barely a trace.
Do I wish to be witnessed? Seen in my dance?
Yes. I don’t know. Maybe.
Erotic – Holographic
Erotic center projecting outward creating sensual experience
“Quaking mess of sensitivity”
Body as Receiver & transmitter – channel
What & how I perceive = what and how I feel
Perception = experience
Perception = sensitivity = awareness of sensation + receptivity
+++
Holographic (feeling) tears
I am creating the feeling with my Desire, the inputs i receive, my attention and focus and depth and breadth of awareness
What and how I perceive is what and how I feel
The quality of your energy and the strength & nuance of your intention
+++
The SHAPE/FORM (energetic signature) is what is Defined – Unfolded – illuminated
With color / line / perspective / value / texture / space / pattern / contrast
The SHAPE/FORM is the CREATIVE CHOICE – the CO CREATIVE DANCE with the Goddess
What you perceive is a matter of dimension and perspective
Perspective: where you are looking from
Inner & outer Place of awareness
Dimension: how many layers of depth you see
Vision – Imagination – Openness
Perception is a direct reflection of State of Mind
State of Mind: marriage or awareness and imagination
2026.09.11
Once you remember you are the Goddess’s earrings, Her perfume, Her nectar, Her fruit. Once you choose to live in service, in Devotion to Her — and this fills you with BLISS — the seeking ends. You stop trying to get spiritually enlightened because you realize you are already Her perfect creation. Her vessel. Her art and Her artist. You are a seer. A visionary. Free of the past. Free of the future. Here. Now. Free of conceptions you do not Desire. You are Kama’s heartbeat. You are beauty and blessing. You a fr sound and sex and dripping colors. You are every delicious flavor, forming, melding, unfolding. You are pure brilliance, oozing from tongue and lips and fingertips. You are humming atoms and spiraling dna and the cosmos breathing out and in. You are new stars born from the ether’s ashes. You are luminous, luminous, luminous.
